Day 1 - Arrival
Arrived on time to find Tony & Nico waiting for me which was a surprise considering I had forgotten to tell them which flight I was on!! Was then whisked through the streets of Melbourne to hear the strains of Michael Jackson booming out from the local traffic - Nice!!
In a bid to try & cheat the jet-lag, we embarked on a mission to find a ‘Bottle-O’. This finally proved successful after having to dodge a few ladies of the night and their associates.
Day 2 - First Full Day
The main object of the day was to purchase the one thing I had forgotten to pack...a jacket. To think that I might get away without having to use one would have been most unwise as it turned out.
A trip to the local ‘Tigger Brothers’ was ideal as I managed to buy what turned out to be a strait-jacket masquerading as a hoody...This caused much amusement for the rest of the trip - mainly when trying to put it on or take it off…
A visit to The Espy in the evening proved most entertaining as we saw bands of various talents, but the highlight had to be the couple who sat next to us. It turns out that the guy knew Tony from Nottingham and Rock City days which was most bizarre. Small world eh?! We stopped on the way home in Acland Street into one of their ‘famous’ cake shops. I admit that I must’ve been in the grip of cake fever, as I decided to buy far too many & started purchasing on the basis of size and colour. This was to prove my downfall when we arrived home as sometimes luminous cakes don’t taste as good as you think they might....
Days 3 & 4 - Phillip Island
To be told we were staying in a ‘shack’ could give you the wrong idea. This was to be proved totally wrong as the place was larger than my house! I am still concerned about the elaborate pulley system though…
On the way to the island we pulled over to help out some ‘Bogans’ (Bogan) who had fallen asleep in their car & awoke to find the radiator had mysteriously disappeared…
Word of advice - don’t go to the Penguin Parade too early, as you’ll be sitting on the concrete steps waiting for nightfall for some time before the penguins appear. This can play havoc with your piles…
When they did appear though, it was fantastic. To see them all waddling out of the sea and being scared by seagulls was a sight to behold.
After the parade we went on a hunt for fish n chips to find the whole island closed apart from one pizza parlour. The fish n chips saga was one that would run & run…
The following morning we visited the interestingly named Nobbies to admire the seal colony. Unfortunately the seals were a touch further away than initially anticipated as they were beyond the Nobbies. On the way back to the car, wildlife spotter extraordinaire Nico managed to spot a penguin nesting in a burrow. A lot of photos were taken, but I am yet to see if any of them are as good as seeing it in the flesh.
On the way back to the city we stopped off at Sorrento for their ‘world famous’ vanilla slice. After we were finally served, we were not disappointed. There was also a plan to stop for fish & chips but time beat us yet again…
Days 5-7 - Melbourne Skills
Some of my initial plans had been to do the touristy thing around the city on the first day & then spend the next few days chilling out on the beach. Well the fabled Melbourne weather put paid to that very quickly. It was actually warmer in London than Melbourne for 3 days. I think I single-handedly managed to solve the water shortage issues as it rained, hailed and even snowed over the course of these 3 days. Wet & windy days followed by cold nights weren’t exactly what you may have in mind when thinking about Australia. However it did give me the opportunity to see a lot more of the city centre & environs than probably would have occurred otherwise. A rare break in the weather on Day 6 enabled me to spend a couple of hours at the MCG watching the Sheffield Shield game (I think its called the Pura league now, but its still the Sheffield Shield to me...) between Victoria and Tasmania. The ‘G’ is an awesome stadium having just been completed after a total re-vamp. It now seats 100,000, but it was very strange to sit in there with only a few hundred others.
The one light on the horizon with all this bad weather meant that I had the opportunity to ingratiate myself with the locals at The Greyhound Hotel, which seemed to end up being my stopping point most evenings. As soon as I learnt Happy Hour began at 5.30, then I knew how to plan my day… On the Tuesday evening they have quiz night during which I was ‘coerced’ into joining the team at the bar. Unbelievably we managed to win the quiz, but in order to stop a revolt from the patrons we had to forego the $50 prize. However, I did enjoy a cheeky couple of free drinks to while the night away.
Days 8-11 - Taking the edge off in Adelaide
The distance from Melbourne to Adelaide is around 730km & once again Nico settled into the driver’s seat to take us on our way. We arrived late evening into the suburb of Glenelg to be greeted by Nico’s mother and a very excitable dog. I was then treated to some homemade soup, before we all crashed out in the back room. Had a brief introduction to Jasper (Nico’s brother) but as I had taken my lenses out, everything was a blur by that stage. However our friendship would be cemented later that weekend.
The Friday proved to be a most eventful day. We went into the city as Tony & Nico were off on a lunch date, but they still had time to show me the Mulls Balls (sp?) before I was met by Amy. After having lunch at a cheeky little Thai restaurant, she was tasked with showing me the sights of the city centre, which seemed to consist of showing me lingerie shops and buying me chocolates… Naturally this was more than I could handle, so I asked to be taken straight to the cricket, where South Australia were playing England. Tony & Nico had re-joined us by this stage and the highlight of the game was Darren Lehman being run out on 99 whilst going for a suicidal 2nd run. Much banter ensued....
After the cricket we whizzed off to an art exhibition as my arm was twisted by talk of free booze. Nico & then Amy were chatting away to a guy who I assumed was one of the exhibitors. He then came up to me & said “hello, you must be Mark”. I was taken back initially, but then he said “I’m Garth, Nico’s father” and suddenly it all became clear. We all went for some Italian food skills, followed by a trip into the city to one of Nico’s old haunts, whose name escapes me, but I do remember I was drinking Coopers Dark… It was also requested that I eat one of the local delicacies - a pie (not pea) floater. To be honest I wasn’t let down as it was good food to have after a few cheeky ones.
The following day was BBQ & booze skills day. Tony did an admiral job cleaning a years worth of gunge from the BBQ. I was then introduced to ‘Gordo’ who determined the gas pipe requirement by using the width of his finger & then proceeded to join me for an afternoon of Cooper’s skills. Kangaroo and sausages were thrown on the Barbie and so were some rather interesting bean patties… Much amusement and merriment was had by all.
In the evening we joined up with Gordo and Jasper for a couple more cheeky ones. After showing me his green card and proposing to me, Gordo was then whisked away by a young lady (referred to as ‘M.C.’) for a ‘walk along the pier’…
Tony & Nico left me in the pub with talk of a 6 o’clock start the next morning. I was still trying to take the edge off, which I assured them would more than likely be done over the next couple of hours. A cheeky kebab with Jasper on the way home was well needed. So as not to wake anyone up, I had a cunning plan to use the lights from our mobile phones to make our way around, but I feel Jasper was not quite up to this, as he proceeded to turn on most of the lights in the house.
The promised early start on the Sunday was not quite as early, & I staggered to the car around 7.30am. This was the trip along the Great Ocean Road, which we reached after a couple of pit stops for petrol and pies & a cunning shortcut straight out of the Markskaaa map skills bag. The scenery is absolutely breathtaking and is a must see. Every stop providing more spectacular coastal vistas. Nico’s pet rescue skills also came to the fore, as she helped an echidna cross the road a little faster than he originally intended
And finally - yes finally - we managed to have some fish n chips. We stopped off in Apollo Bay & ate our food whilst admiring the hair & clothing styles of the locals....
Arrived back at the flat at 10.30pm which meant another long, long day in the driver’s seat for Nico. If they ever come into some money then I think a chauffeur should be the first thing on the list for her.
Day 12 - Last Day
A sad and melancholy day as the realisation that my trip was almost over started to hit home. Finally managed to get on the beach for a couple of hours as even though it was cloudy, it was still warm. However, spent most of the time looking at my watch and thinking that there were only a few hours left. To try & redeem my actions from the previous week, I stopped off at a cake shop in Acland St on the way back & bought what I hoped were a better selection of cakes than the last effort.
Then finally it was time to load up the car one last time and take the drive to the airport
